Reliving the Past
by Asake
Summary: NEW CHAPTER! We can never live down our pasts, and a dark secret from Riza's begins to haunt her. How will she handle herself? Will Roy help or hurt the situation. Better than Summary. Chapters Get Longer.Developing RoyAi.R&R Please!
1. Riza's Request

Disclaimer: I don't own FullMetal Alchemist

Riza was sitting at her desk as the clock up on the wall hit 10:00 pm. It was empty now that the work day had ended hours ago. Well not completely empty. A string of almost silent curses came from across the room. Roy Mustang was still at his desk, scribbling away furiously. They were always the last two there, Roy's procrastination when it came to paperwork being the cause. She didn't have to stay, didn't have to give up her free time to sit here and babysit her commanding officer. Riza didn't mind though, she knew he wouldn't work unless she was there to push him into it. It was practically tradition now, Roy avoided work, Riza fired warning shots, Roy worked. She would usually help him finish up if it got this late but today her mind was elsewhere.

Riza sighed silently and looked down at the small book she held in her hands. It was a organizer she had bought the beginning of the year. She looked at her schedule for the week until she reached it, February 12th, this Friday. Nothing was written by the day but there was no need. She would never forget that day. She was slowly becoming lost in her thoughts until she heard movement across the room. Roy was leaning back in his chair, letting his hair fall to cover his eyes. For a minute she just wanted to reach out and brush the hair away. _No Riza, he's your superior, nothing more...he can't be anything more._ Pushing all thoughts from her head she spoke up. "Did you finish your paperwork Sir?"

Roy nodded and stood up stretching his stiff limbs. _I swear, sitting behind that desk all day is going to kill me. _He cast a look at the clock, _Hmm 10:30, I still have time for a few drinks at the bar. _He pulled on his military jacket and looked up to see Riza standing in front of the door, not moving. "Hawkeye, do you need something?" Riza nodded but did not turn around. "Sir may I have permission to have Friday off?" Her voice was usually soft.

Roy was surprised by her request. She had never once asked for a day off, or even missed a day in the 10 months she had been under his command. He walked slowly over to her until he was on her side. "May I ask why?" Riza felt Roy's gaze on her but she continued to look at the ground. "I'm going out of town...for personal reasons."

The last three words threw Roy. He gently pulled on her chin until she was finally facing him, meeting his eyes, "And those reasons are?"

A very faint pink tinge rose on Riza's cheeks from the Roy's touch. She though about his question, hating to keep it a secret. But she couldn't talk about it, she never thought she would be ready. It was just to painful.

Roy was shocked by the flash of sadness and hurt that flickered across her eyes before she dropped his gaze. "I'd rather not say Sir."Roy nodded and moved his hand to the doorknob, "That's fine Hawkeye, you're excused on Friday." He opened the door and began walking down the hallway.

Riza stood still for a moment, regaining her composure before she stepped out into the hall. Noticing Mustang by the outer door she called out one last time. "Sir." Roy turned to face her. "Don't stay out to late at the bar, we have work tomorrow." With that Riza turned and stepped back into the office to get her coat.

Roy smirked as he pushed open the door and walked out into the night air. _That woman knows me too well._

Yeah I know, this is probably horrible, it really is my first fanfic. Please Review so I can try to make it better. I will probably edit this before I post anything else, but I do promise I have an idea for this story! I would really like some advice. Thanks and Happy Holidays.


	2. Roys Decision

I really want to thank the wonderful people who reviewed, I'm not sure if I would have continued without your encouragement! I am sorry about the grammatical errors, I'm not sure why it wouldn't let me tab or anything I will try to fix that! Well read on, if it needs to be edited, let me know!

Disclaimer: I Don't own Full Metal Alchemist.

* * *

Roy shivered slightly as he pulled his coat tighter around him. He looked around as his feet led him on the familiar trail. Everything looked very bare now. The holidays had past and with the lights and decorations gone, all that remained was the emptiness that came with winter. The late hour of the night didn't help either. The light from the lamppost was casting a dreary glow. Roy looked up as he finally reached his destination. Casting aside his thoughts he pushed open the door and stepped in quickly. Pausing for a moment to adjust to the warmth of the room, he walked over to his usually seat on the bar.

He nodded slightly to the bar tender as he set down a glass of beer. Taking a large drink, he turned to study the occupants of the bar. He frowned slightly at first as he noticed the lack of females. It was common knowledge he was a bit of a ladies man but lately he seemed to be off of his game. As his gaze continued around the room his eyes fell on a pretty young woman who was smiling happily at the end of the bar. She appeared to be in her early twenties with long golden blonde hair that curved off about mid-back. He watched as the man next to her held out a coat to her then walked her to the door. His eyes followed her, more specifically her hair, until the door closed behind her.

Pulling himself from his trance he turned back to the bar while taking a drink of his beer. The woman reminded him of someone but he couldn't quite identify who. After another drink Roy's eyes opened wide in realization. Her golden hair matched that of his subordinate, Hawkeye. Roy smirked slightly at the thought of Hawkeye behaving as that woman had. First, she had never appeared that happy and care free, always orderly and proper. Second, she her hair was always tight up in a bun. _I wonder what her hair would look like down. I bet it's more beautiful than the other woman, and so soft I could run my hands through it. _Roy shook his head and scowled himself for such thoughts. Hawkeye was off-limits...not that he would be interested anyway, would he?

Taking another gulp of his beer, he returned to his comparison of the two women. After a moment he came up with one final difference. That woman had obviously been on a date, something he could never imagine Hawkeye participating in. In the 10 months she had been working under him he had never heard a word about her personal life. Roy's eyes flashed open in shock as Hawkeye's words played over in his mind. _Day off...personal reasons...not say..._ It couldn't be. There was NO way Riza Hawkeye was going on a date this Friday, or was she?

Roy felt a small tug at his chest as he imagined Riza as the woman at the bar, laughing with some strange man. He felt himself ready to snap his fingers at the unknown man, figuring it would be a good use of his alchemy. Shaking his head to clear the absurd thought, his conscience decided to make an appearance.

_ You know your jealous Roy. You wish it was you Riza was going on a date with. _

Roy half chuckled, like a child trying to keep a secret that had already been discovered. He wasn't jealous...only worried. Yes, he was worried that Riza would get hurt. No, he was not jealous, nope, not at all. He lifted his glass to his mouth and took one final drink, finishing it off. He slapped the money down on the counter and stood up slowly to prevent the blood running to his head. He turned and walked to the door, shivering again at the sudden change in the temperature. _I'm not jealous, I'm... _Roy stopped, not even believing himself even more. As his feet once again led him to his destination, he made a decision.

He was following her on Friday. He needed to see for himself the man that had captured the attention of his Riza.

* * *

So how was it? I would really like some comment, I'm not sure if I'm too OOC or maybe moving too fast with their feelings? I would really appreciate some advice! And I might not always update this fast but I already had the idea for this chapter soo... Well Once again thanks! Reviews extrememly appreciated! 


	3. A Strange Day in the Office

Okay well to prevent repetition, and since I just can't write that much, the story will now skip ahead to Thursday, previous chapters were meant to be on Monday. I will try to make future chapter longer, those two were written nights I had finals the next day...so that kinda hurt my writing.

Disclaimer: I don't own Full Metal Alchemist (nor Midol)

* * *

Roy looked up to notice the wary looks on the faces of Fuery and Havoc as he made his way to the office he shared with his First Lieutenant. Being close to an hour late Hawkeye would surely have his head, especially since she seemed to be on edge this week. Had he not been fearing for his life, he would have set a bottle of Midol on her desk, figuring it could be the only reasonable explanation for her behavior. What did she have to be grouchy about, she was going on a date tomorrow. 

He groaned slightly as he attempted to knock the thought out of his head. All week the thought of her date had been plaguing him. He was not jealous...well maybe a little jealous, but mostly confused. Hawkeye never seemed like the type to date. She was always there to push him along, even if it was at gunpoint.

Shaking his head slightly, he turned the knob and, bracing himself for an outburst, walked into the office. Eyes closed, he paused for a moment at the door, but after a moment of silence he opened them and walked over to his desk and sat down slowly, waiting for flying bullets. When he was met with more silence, he finally turned to look at his quiet subordinate. Her head was down, hair falling gracefully to cover her eyes. She had a pen in her hand but it appeared frozen in place. Roy straightened in his chair, ready to walk over to her, but changed his mind. He leaned slightly on his desk as he looked over at her. "Hawkeye."

Riza heard someone calling her name but they sounded far away. After a moment she blinked her eyes, bringing her mind back into focus. She heard her name being called again and looked up, turning her head until she was facing Mustang's desk. Seeing the Colonel sitting there she blinked again quickly. _When did he get here?_ Shaking her head inwardly she quickly composed herself and nodded in Mustang's direction. She looked back down, but this time focusing on her work. "Good Morning Sir. The start of your paperwork is on your desk. Please try to stay on task today."

Roy looked over at Hawkeye a bit confused. That was it? No bullets or threats? It seemed as though she didn't even realize he was late. After a moment he looked down at his paperwork, trying to get a grip on the situation. _Should I be rejoicing that I escaped unharmed or worried that something could distract her enough to forget that I was late. _His shoulders fell and he began to work quietly.

The hours slipped by unnoticed as the two continued with their work. Neither seemed in the mood to talk so the room was even more silent then normal. For once Roy was working diligently and didn't realize what time it was until Havoc appeared in the doorway.

"Colonel, We are headed off to lunch now."

Roy looked up, surprised. He glanced at the clock on his desk and was shocked to find it was already after noon. After a quick nod to dismiss Havoc, the two were once again left alone in the office. Roy looked over at Riza, who seemed unaware of Havocs brief presence. "Hawkeye?"

Riza brought her eyes up from the paper to face Mustang. His face expressed a combination of humor and concern. "Yes Sir."

"Are you going?"

Confusion was slowly becoming clear on her usually unreadable face. _What is he talking about?_ Riza stared at Mustang, waiting for the answer to her silent question.

A small smirk found its way to Roy's face. _She really is clueless today, though I have to admit that her face is cute like that. _Chasing away those thoughts, Roy stood up pulling on his jacket. "To lunch. Are you going to lunch? It is already after noon."

Riza eyes opened slightly in understanding. She blushed lightly at her ignorance then shook her head before returning to her paperwork.

Roy didn't notice the blush but was still surprised by her answer. She always went to lunch. As he walked over to the door, he looked back once more. "Are you sure?"

Riza looked up quickly from her papers, a bit startled at his voice. She assumed he had already left. A small smile graced her face. "Yes, I'll be fine."

Roy frowned slightly but accepted her answer. He stepped out into the hall and began his walk to lunch, trying not to think of how beautiful the smile on Riza's face had been.

Riza's hand stopped writing when the door clicked shut. She counted to ten to make sure that Mustang had truly left, then dropped the pen and leaned back. She glanced at the clock that now read 12:27. _In only a few hours..._ Riza groaned as she pulled herself up from her chair and dragged her feet to the small loveseat across from her desk. Dropping herself on the small couch she leaned her head back, closing her eyes. She hadn't been sleeping well lately and it was getting to her. Hopefully if she took a break, she could make it through the day.

Roy carried a small brown bag in his hands as he walked down the hallway to his office. His lunch had gone smoothly and, surprisingly, he had taken less than an hour. He turned and was about to enter his office when the phone on Havoc's desk began shaking and exerting a rather annoying noise. Since no one else was around, Roy let out an irritated sigh but brought the phone next to his ear. "Hello."

"Hello, may I please speak to Colonel Mustang," a deep voice came over the receiver.

"This is he," Mustang leaned against the desk, recognizing the voice as Major Armstrong, another State Alchemist.

"Oh hello Sir, I was just calling to inform you that the Elric brothers have arrived safely."

Roy let out a silent sigh of relief. He had been worried that Edward would pull some stupid stunt and get himself into even more trouble. A sly smirk appeared on his face. Since they were back he might as well pick up on his favorite game. "Okay thanks Armstrong. Tell Al hello, and if you can spot the tiny midget, tell the shrimp to be careful he isn't stepped on."

"Yes sir." Armstrong let out an exasperated sigh then told the boys that Colonel Mustang was glad they had arrived and was looking forward to seeing them soon. Roy could almost see Ed rolling his eyes. Muttering vibrated from the other end of the phone as Ed's voice appeared in the background, "Yeah sure, tell that pathetic excuse for a firefly he better have a good reason for dragging me here, or I'm putting out that birthday candle sized flame of his."

Roy smirked again, glad to see that the kid hadn't lost any of his nerve. "Okay Armstrong, take the boys to their temporary rooms and I will see you all tomorrow, though it is hard to see things the size of an atom." Roy set the phone down, cutting off the insults that Ed was shouting into the phone. Turning once again to the door, he stepped into his office.

Riza turned on her side, trying to get away from the loud footsteps that were slowly pulling her back to reality. The footsteps soon stopped, causing a small peaceful smile to appear on her face. Riza's eyes began to flicker slightly when a male's voice broke the silence. It seemed strange that a man's voice was in her home but the thought was quickly forgotten as she squirmed farther into her bed, gathering as much warmth to her body as possible. _I need to put another blanket on my bed. _

Riza froze as she snapped open her eyes. She didn't remember going home. Drowsiness falling away rapidly, Riza leaned up but quickly fell back. A hand was automatically brought up to cover her eyes that seemed to be blinded by the sudden light. She sat still for a moment then slowly lowered her hand. Looking at her surrounding, Riza began to curse herself silently. She had actually fallen asleep, but at least she was lucky enough to be awoken before Mustang arrived back. Confusion slowly crept onto her face as the previously forgotten voice once again spoke. Cursing herself for the second time she quickly identified the voice as the Colonels. Sitting up straight she adjusted her uniform and quickly fixed her hair, which had managed to slip out of its' orderly bun. She froze once again as her eyes snapped up to the opening door.

Roy automatically looked over at Hawkeye's desk, expecting to see her working diligently on some "important" paper. Frowning slightly at the empty desk, he turned at the sudden noise on the other side of the room. He turned, surprised to see his subordinate sitting on the loveseat looking as though she had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Slowly she seemed to regain her senses as she stood up, walked over to her desk and began working, his eyes following her all the way. _What was she doing over there?_ Shrugging his shoulders inwardly, he decided it would be smarter not to ask. Smirking slightly he dropped the bag on her desk and returned to his own to begin tackling his own stack of paperwork.

Riza looked up quickly to study the foreign object on her desk. Hesitantly, she reached up and opened the bag. She looked up at Mustang, slightly confused as she pulled out a sandwich and a bottle of water. "What is this?"

Roy kept his head turned down, "It's your lunch."

Riza kept her confused gaze set upon her superior. "But sir..." She faded off, unsure of what to make of the situation.

Amusement played on Roy's face as he finally looked up to meet her gaze. "Hawkeye everyone, including you, has to eat. Go ahead. It's not poisoned."

Riza opened her mouth for a moment, ready to refuse but finally let out a sigh of defeat. A rare smile appeared on her face before she dropped her eyes down to the food in front of her. "Thank you," slipped almost silently from her lips before she picked up the sandwich and began to eat carefully.

The smile reflected onto Roy before he returned to his paperwork. It was nice to see her smile. _And even better that I made her smile._

Riza finished her lunch and returned to her normal routine. After a while she noticed that Mustang was getting low on papers, so she exited the office quickly and returned with a new stack. As she was making her way over to his desk, her eyes caught a glimpse of the clock, **3:48.**

Riza gasped loudly as the papers in her arms crashed to the floor. Her eyes were locked on the clock as one arm wrapped automatically around her waist.

Roy looked up at the commotion, with both worry and fear written on his face. He already had one hand in snapping motion, knowing whatever could cause such a reaction out of Hawkeye must be dangerous. His expression changed to confusion when he saw the room still empty and nothing out of place. He looked over at Hawkeye, who seemed frozen in place, though her eyes were far away. "Hawkeye?"

Riza eyes jumped from the clock to Mustang. Her eyes blinked quickly, pulling her mind back to the present. She shook her head slightly as she knelt down to pick up the fallen papers. Standing up slowly she place the papers on the Colonel's desk then returned to her work.

Roy continued to stare at the woman who seemed to be full of surprises today. _What is up with her today? She never acts like this, so what is going on?_ Roy opened his mouth to ask but his eyes fell on the pistol resting on her side. Deciding it would be safer to keep quiet, he returned to his work.

Riza worked diligently for a bit but after less than an hour her mind began to wander into dangerous territory. Casting another look at the clock, **4:32**, seemed to glow tauntingly at her. _Only ten minuted now..._ Her body seemed to tense up as she tried to force herself to work. Her efforts were useless as her eyes one again traveled up, **4:38**. Not being able to take it anymore, Riza pushed back from her desk and exited the room, leaving no explanation behind for her strange actions. She walked past the desks of Fuery and Havoc then turned the corner down the hall until she entered the women's restroom.

Riza turned and locked the door before falling back against it and sliding to the floor. Suddenly sharp pains were sent throughout her body. She didn't need a clock to know that it was now 4:42. The pains were not too intense but still pained her a bit. _This is nothing compared to before._ A slight grin appeared on her face but quickly faded, replaced by a groan of pain. _This always happens, if only I had something to show for it..._

A few minutes later the pain finally subsided and Riza pulled herself up. She chuckled slightly at the sight of herself in the mirror. Her cheeks were flushed red and here hair was poking out at different places. After making herself presentable, she left the restroom and returned to her office.

Roy looked up when Hawkeye returned, but held his tongue for the third time today. He was not sure what was going on, but he was not going to force her to tell him. _Especially if it has to do with her date._ Roy groaned silently and returned to his work, trying to distract himself from the aching feeling in his chest.

The rest of the day went by silent and uneventful. When six o'clock finally came around, it was Riza who stood to leave first. She muttered a quick good-bye to Mustang before she pushed open the door and continued out. She passed by the desks of Havoc and Fuery, nodding as she went. "Good-bye. I will see you both on Monday." She then left the office without another word.

Fuery and Havoc both muttered good-byes, not looking up from their work. Then, as her words sunk in, both men looked up confused. "Monday?" Pushing back from their work, they entered Mustang's office. Fuery stepped forward, genuinely concerned. "Sir, do you know what is going on with Hawkeye? She has been acting strangely and does not appear to be coming in tomorrow."

Mustang let out a small sigh as he looked up at the men. "The only thing I know is that she asked for tomorrow off...for personal reasons. She said that she would be going out of town."

Havoc now stepped forward, a smirk riding on his lips, "Does that mean we don't have to come in to work tomorrow?"

Fuery looked over at Havoc a bit frustrated. He was concerned about Riza. Even when he saw her out of the office, she never behaved like she had lately, and it was very unlike her to miss work. _What is she doing?_

Mustang was asking himself the same question. Seeing the concern on Fuery's face, a plan began to form in his mind. He had already decided to follow Hawkeye tomorrow, but if he could convince the others to go, it would be a much better situation should they be caught. "I did notice her strange behavior this week, I do hope she is okay tomorrow, by herself."

Fuery looked up nodding. Suddenly his eyes opened a bit as an idea came to him, "We could go with her, without her knowing of course. I don't want to see anything happen to her either." He looked up at the Colonel, waiting for a response.

Mustang nodded his head thoughtfully, playing the part of the innocent. Inwardly, he was cheering that Fuery had suggested the thought, now it wouldn't be his idea if they were seen. Finally he shrugged his shoulders, "Well if it will get me out of this office, I'll go along. We cannot be seen by Hawkeye though, I would like to keep my body free of any more bullets."

Havoc was silent until he noticed the two men staring at him. Cigarette still hanging out of his mouth, he leaned back against the wall. "Whatever."

Mustang leaned back in his chair smirking, "Okay, take a seat men. We need a plan."

* * *

Well this is my Christmas present to everyone. I know it took me awhile but everyone wanted it longer and I had all of my Christmas preparation soo.. Anyways, please review, as a present to me! This chapter is incredibly long by my standards, so if I went on too much let me know. I really wanted to finish so let me know what you think! Well thanks to everyone who reviewed and hope everyone had a Merry Christmas! (or whatever you celebrate!) 

P.S. I am going on vacation next week so it may be a week or two before the next chapter is up! I promise to hurry, and reviews make me write faster!


	4. Mysterious Trip

Okay this tip is going to come in handy a bit in this chapter and the next. In case you don't know, I believe if the body goes into an intense state of fear, you can lose your reality of time. Okay you can read now!

Disclaimer: I don't own Full Metal Alchemist

* * *

Riza's hand gently hit the _off_ button on her alarm a mere second after it began to sound. It really had been useless, it wasn't as though she slept. Her hand slid back to her side, eyes cast up to stare at the ceiling. Her eyes were empty and lifeless, yet so full of pain. Slowly she forced herself from the safety of her bed and into the shower. The water was hot, almost to the point of burning her skin but it was comforting. The drops slid down her cheeks, taking the place of the tears that refused to fall. The shower soon turned off and Riza stepped out of the warmth. Her body, showing its first sign of life, shivered at the sudden drop in temperature as she wrapped a towel around her body. She glanced at herself in the mirror but looked away quickly. The mirror didn't show Riza Hawkeye, First Lieutenant, expert marksman. It showed a younger girl, eyes scared and lost, eyes of merely Riza. 

Stepping out of the bathroom her mind barely registered as her body went through its daily actions. Her military uniform was replaced with a loose button up white blouse and a soft blue skirt that came down past her knee. Her eyes stared straight ahead as her hands moved on their own, pulling a brush through her soft blonde hair. It hung loose, just below her shoulders. Glancing at the clock she knew the time was coming closer. She pulled a coat out of the closet along with a small purse. Sanity stepped in, only for a moment, to remind her to bring a gun, even if she didn't have the strength today to pull the trigger. Casting a final glance around her house, she stepped out the door and into the morning air. The cold wind hit her full force, but she walked along unfazed, why would she be? She was already numb. After a short while she arrived at a small bus station. Heading for her bus, she handed the driver the ticket she had purchased earlier in the week and took a seat. The bus left shortly and Riza took a deep breath preparing herself. It was February 12th and now there was no turning back.

* * *

Roy's eyes perked up as he watched Riza step out of her house. _Wow its only nine, she sure gets going early for a day off. _Havoc, Fuery, and himself were currently sitting in a parked car, down the street from Riza's home. They had all camped out at Havoc's house, since he lived the closest. The night had been interesting to say the least. First, a nasty call had come from Havoc's mother complaining about how her son had deserted her. Then Roy had to use his alchemy to burn something that seemed to be growing in the refrigerator. To top it all off, a woman Havoc had 'gotten acquainted' with a few nights ago showed up in tears, begging him to stay with her. 

The men watched Hawkeye as they followed in the car. When they came to the bus station, Fuery slipped out and returned a few minutes later with her bus number. After twenty minutes, the bus pulled out of the lot, Havoc driving the car a safe distance behind. Becoming uncomfortable in the silence, Fuery spoke from the backseat.

"Where do you think she is going?"

Roy remained silent, turning to look out the passenger seat window. Havoc shrugged his shoulders, lifting one hand to remove his cigarette to speak.

"Knowing Hawkeye, buying extra deadly bullets or something."

Fuery shook his head doubtfully and leaned back in his seat as the car ride continued on in silence. After a bit less than an hour, the bus pulled into a small town to let off several passengers, Hawkeye included. Havoc parked the car and looked around.

"Where are we?"

Roy shrugged his shoulders, leading the other two men as he left the car and followed Hawkeye on foot.

* * *

Riza stared out the window, a sad look set upon her fragile face. Her mind was lost in memories while the bus hurried along. As the bus slowed to a stop, she pulled herself back to reality and exiting the bus. The drive seemed to last only a few minutes but it always did. Taking a deep breath, Riza looked around at the familiar stop before her feet began to move themselves down the sidewalk. 

Eyes taking in her surroundings, memories of more pleasant times began to flow back. A small smile came to her face as she noted how little had changed. Passing by small stores she watched people dart from one place to another, trying to avoid the cold air as much as possible. Riza continued down her path as she came across a school, pausing shortly to glance at the classrooms she knew were full of young students, anxious for the bell to ring releasing them to the freedom of the weekend. Closing her eyes, she opened them slowly before walking again.

Her walk continued for several minutes, allowing her to take in the sounds around her. Soon she came to a building that was too familiar. Stopping at the beginning of the road, her eyes followed the street, finally resting on the white hospital building. Fingers clutching her purse, she counted up four floors and found the seventh room down from the end. She nodded her head before continuing on her way, hoping the last woman in that room had better luck than she did.

Eyes cast down, she could feel herself coming closer. She passed it every year, she knew she would. Some would say it wasn't healthy, tell her to take another path but she never did. Her steps slowed as she drew nearer, noticing the trees becoming denser. Her eyes closed as she stopped on the walkway in front of it. She listened for others, hearing none, she finally brought her eyes up. Some would laugh at her, others just think her strange for it but it was true. Riza Hawkeye was scared of what children loved. The playground in the city park.

* * *

"Can we go back now? She's fine!" Havoc whined as he watched Hawkeye from behind a tree with the others. Roy glared at him but Fuery frowned and shook his head. 

"What do you mean she's fine? Is this how Hawkeye usually acts? Walking aimlessly around, stopping at random places for a few moments. Look at her!" He turned his head back, watching as Hawkeye swung freely on a small swing, eyes cast down.

Havoc crossed his arms and was silent for a moment. He soon felt small raindrops falling on his head and he looked up, "It's starting to rain! I'm leaving!" He turned to leave but was stopped by Fuery who latched onto his arm. The two pulled, struggling for a moment before Roy slapped them apart.

"Stop it you two! You're making to much noise, she will know we are here!" Roy turned back to Hawkeye, hoping their cover hadn't been blown. He noticed she seemed more tense now, her grip on the swing robes very tight. They waited awhile longer until it started raining harder. Glancing around the park, Roy noticed that Hawkeye was still alone. _Where is her date?_ Thinking back on the day, he realized that she had not talked to anyone. Had he been wrong? A smile came to his face, but was quickly replaced by a confused frown. If she wasn't meeting anyone, then what was she doing?

Roy was interrupted from his thoughts as Havoc began to complain again. Roy and Fuery finally agreed they should go back, only Hawkeye didn't seem to think so. Roy stared at her, unsure what to do.

"Should we go get her? I don't want to be shot either but... we can't just leave her out here? It doesn't look like she even notices the rain," Fuery gestured to Hawkeye who hadn't moved an inch since the rain began.

Havoc shook his head no but Roy finally agreed. Slowly the three men made their way to her from behind. Slowly Roy reached out one hand to lay on her shoulder to get her attention.

"Hello."

* * *

Riza slowly made her way from the sidewalk to the swing. She lay her purse on the ground as she lightly kicked back and forth, swaying slowly. Her thought seemed to slow until they fell onto a single memory. She lost track of time as it replayed over and over in her mind. Her grip tightened as her eyes began to water slightly though she refused to cry. Long ago she had cried, not now. Though it didn't seem that long ago. She could still hear them behind her, tree's rustling under their footsteps. Her eyes flew open as her body froze. 

Her mind began to race, her heat beating faster and faster. She heard them, she knew she did. Their voices muttering, standing there waiting. A small piece of her was yelling, telling her grab the gun in her purse, but she couldn't. Slowly that rational piece of her mind was gone as fear filled her body. She was lost, no longer herself but a young girl frozen in terror. Her mind was running. Did they know she was here? Could they hear her heart as it beat?

Her muscles tensed as she heard it, the footsteps. Step by step they came closer, sealing her fate once again. She could feel them, even as her eyes fell shut, willing herself to be anywhere but here. It seemed as though her heart stopped beating as they came behind her. Her body was paralyzed with fear as the hand came to rest on shoulder, a deep voice cutting into the silence. Mind overwhelmed, her body fell back unconscious.

* * *

Well this chapter messed up soI had to delete it and repost it. I am sorry for the long wait but after the holidays new classes kicked in full force, along with track (so painful), then when I got home I was too tired to write and...why am I going on? You don't care! lol well please take a look at my Royai oneshot, kinda cute. Thanks again for reading and please review! I write faster when I think people actually want to read! Sorry this chapter is a little short but I wanted to update! 


	5. Roy's Confusion

**Chapter 5: Roy's Confusion**

Roy had been prepared himself for the consequences of his action. Informing Hawkeye they had been tailing her was not an easy decision but he couldn't leave her in the rain. What if something happened to her? He had been expecting a long lecture on the care ride back, endless paperwork keeping him permanently glued to his seat, a bullet causing some sort of physical pain. What he had not expected was this.

Roy released a slow breath as he sat up. He was currently sitting in a small, cushioned chair in the corner of the room. Unsure what to do after Hawkeye fell back unconscious, the three men had finally compromised to rent a hotel room. Using Roy's alchemist salary, they were able to get a room large enough to fit all four of them, though they did receive some strange looks as they carried their unconscious Lieutenant through the lobby. The room held two beds, the chair in the corner, a small TV and had a bathroom near the entrance to the room.

Roy eyes drifted onto the body lying on one of the beds. Hawkeye was staying fairly still, letting out a small sound occasionally. He frowned as he tried to piece together the puzzle of the day. It made no sense. She had randomly picked a day to take off work, drive an hour to some unknown small town, walk through the entire town, not speaking to anyone and then stopping to sit in a park for over an hour. To be the cherry on top of this sundae of confusion, she passed out with a mere hand on her shoulder. Roy let out a frustrated sigh. _What is going on?_

His thoughts were interrupted by footsteps outside the door. Two voices could be heard mumbling as the knob turned, revealing Havoc and Fuery. Fuery moved to sit on the second bed as Havoc deposited a couple of bags on the small table provided.

"There's not much of a selection around here. We just went to the first store we came to that sold edible food." He pulled out a sandwich and tossed it to Roy. "Eat, you look hungry."

Roy nodded and obeyed silently. He eyes fell back to Fuery who was feeling Hawkeye's forehead. The worried expression hadn't left his face since they had arrived, it had been part of the reason Roy had sent the others out for food in the first place. There was nothing they could do now and Fuery's nervous behavior was making Roy more anxious.

Fuery shook his head slowly as he sat back down on the bed, "I don't understand. She doesn't have a fever so we can rule out illness. So what if going on with her?" He didn't even bother to turn and face the other men, knowing they couldn't answer his question.

Havoc frowned and sat down at the foot of the bed to eat his own sandwich. The room stayed silent, each man wrapped up in his own thoughts. Finally uncomfortable, Havoc turned on the TV, flipping through channels until he found a slightly humorous show. It was actually more amusing how bad the actors were. Slowly, the others turned their attention to the televison, allowing themselves a temporary distraction from their thoughts.

nunununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununnnununununununu

Riza slowly felt herself being pulled into consciousness. Her eyes stayed closed as she tried to compose herself. Her mind was still scattered, only bits and pieces coming back to her. She was still lost to herself, left with the confusion of a mere teenager. Finally she was able to direct some of her thoughts. _Where am I?_ Her eyes opened slightly, glancing around only enough to be able to tell that this was not her house.

Her body immediately went froze. Her left hand made a small movement as she felt down the side of her body. She wasn't sore and she was fully clothed. That was a good sign. Her eyes opened fully to survey the room. She moved her head slowly to look around. Her neck popped loudly and she brought her hand up to rub it instinctively. "Ow."

A breath caught in her throat the instant the sound left her lips. Her eyes flashed around as she saw three figures approaching the bed. They lips were moving but she couldn't hear a word. She could identify them as males, but their image was hazy, as though mixing with a memory. Finally one was next to her, reaching a hand out to her. She jumped back defensively. She pushed herself back until she fell off the bed.

Breathing hard and eyes jumping rapidly around, she continued moving until she found herself backed into a corner. Her body was quickly falling into panic as any sense of reasoning left her. She had to get out of here. The men were coming closer again. They were surrounding her.

Riza brought her knee's up to chest, wrapping her arms around herself in a sort of fetal position. She sought any source of protection. As a hand reached out to her, she jerked her head away, turning to face the wall. She used her knee's to shield her eyes from the strangers.

The tears had already began to fall as she began to slip into hopelessness. This feeling of vulnerability was killing her. She couldn't move, she just cried in the corner, wishing she could do anything but knowing she was just too weak. Finally her body gave out from exhaustion as her vision went dark and she slipped into unconsciousness, but not before Riza was able to get out an almost silent sentence.

"Please, not again."

nununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununu

The room was dead silent. Fuery's mouth was opening and closing but he seemed to be at a loss for words. Roy seemed to be in the same state of shock, unable to peel his eyes away from the motionless body in from of him. Havoc stared in disbelief, finally breaking the silence.

"What the Hell?"

He looked to the others but received no response. Roy stepped forward cautiously. He knelt down and slowly lifted Hawkeye and moved her back to the bed. He was actually amazed he was able to move himself, let alone another. His mind was just too jumbled.

With their Lieutenant once again situated on the bed, the three men sat down to try to make some sense of the situation. Roy was in the chair once again, the other two on the bed. Finally Roy looked over to Fuery, knowing he was the one who had spent the most time with Hawkeye outside of the office.

"Has she ever said anything to you? Anything that would explain this behavior."

Fuery was silent for a moment then shook his head sadly, "Nothing I can think of. She had never mentioned this town to me or anything that could explain anything that has happened today."

Havoc made a sound of irritation, "Why did she react like that? It's just us. What was she afraid of?"

Roy frowned at the question, "I don't think she knew it was us. Her eyes didn't seem to actually focus at all." Havoc's question was still rolling around in his head. _What was she afraid of? _He was becoming more and more frustrated by the moment. None of this made sense.

Fuery nodded his head in agreement with Roy, "She didn't seem herself." He paused as he thought back, another question forming. "What did she mean 'not again'?"

Neither of the other two were able to answer the question. All three realized that they knew almost nothing about Hawkeye's personal life, let alone her past. They fell quiet as the voices from the forgotten television filled the air.

They stayed silent as the room grew slowly darker as the daylight began to fade. Roy glanced at a clock on the table, **6:55 PM**. He frowned as he realized that he was even more confused now then this morning when they had set out on their little adventure.

Roy knew it was getting late and he had to make a decision about the night. He thought about their options. Moving Hawkeye was out of the question. She was so unpredictable right now he wasn't taking any chances. He also knew he was not leaving her side until he knew what was going on. That left Fuery and Havoc to consider. Since they had no idea they would be out this late, Roy was unsure if they had plans.

He thought back on Hawkeye's reactions earlier in the day. She seemed so overwhelmed and scared. Maybe he could get through to her if they were alone. Finally decided it was for the best, he turned his attention back to the other two men. "You two should get going."

The men turned to Roy confused. Havoc remained quiet as Fuery spoke, "Go? What do you mean? We have to watch over Hawkeye."

Roy shook his head, "There's nothing you can do. Besides, we don't want make her feel like we're attacking her when she wakes up again. She will be more comfortable without all of us around. I'll stay and make sure nothing happens to her."

Fuery frowned as he thought it over. Havoc studied Roy for a moment before nodding, "He has a point Fuery. We should head back, Hawkeye wouldn't want us wasting out weekend away over her. She's going to be upset at us enough for ditching out paperwork today."

Fuery paused for a moment, seeming as though he was going to refuse but finally let out a tired sigh a nodded, "Okay, if you two think that it would be best. I'll stop by her apartment when we get back and check on Hayate. He's probably going crazy with Hawkeye being gone so long. " He looked up at Roy, "Call if anything happens okay?"

Roy nodded as he caught the key to the room Havoc tossed him, "You two will be the first to know. Now get out of here before Hawkeye wakes up and shoots you both."

Fuery and Havoc gathered their coats quickly and slipped out the door, muttering nearly silent good-bye's to Roy as they cast one final glance at Hawkeye. The door finally closed, leaving Roy alone in the room with the unconscious Lieutenant.

Roy was still for a long time before he moved from his position in the chair. He moved to the bed across from Hawkeye, sitting so he could study her. The sun had set an hour or so ago and the room was now flooded with darkness. Roy turned on the small lamp on the night-stand between the beds, allowing the light to illuminate Hawkeye while casting a shadow of her outline against the wall.

Her face scared him. She was pale as though she had seen a ghost. Her body seemed to be shaking slightly and he could see beads of perspiration beginning to appear on her forehead. Worried she had a fever, Roy laid the back of his head gently against her face. She jumped a little but did not awake. Roy removed his hand, even more worried than before.

Her fear had drained all warmth from her body, her face was chilled. Roy frowned, unsure what to do. If she was not shaking out of fever, then that meant great stress must be on her body. It was not good to leave her in this condition, but he didn't think it would be wise to wake her up after that last reaction.

Roy let out a frustrated sigh as he rested his elbows on his knees, watching the woman across from him. How was it possible that he knew almost nothing about the one person whom he felt closest too and spent most of his time with?

Roy leaned forward, gently taking one of Hawkeye's hands in his own. It was cold but he rubbed his hands along it slowly, trying to pull some warmth back into it. He laid her hand back down as he moved his eyes up to her face. Roy felt a pull in his chest, wishing he could find some way to comfort her. She looked so scared, an emotion he had never associated with his brave Lieutenant.

Roy watched her awhile longer, relieved to see she that she eventually stopped shaking. He gently ran his fingers down her cheek, noting that she was slowly gaining some warmth back. He leaned forward slowly, watching Hawkeye's eyes for any sign of consciousness. Seeing none, he lowered his head, placing a small kiss on her forehead. He pulled back a moment later, studying her face, almost afraid she would sit up and scold at him for such an action.

Roy felt his eyelids begin to fall from exhaustion. Casting a quickly glance at the clock, he was surprised to find it was only a little after eleven, an early hour for him on most nights. Releasing a deep breath, Roy gave into the strange fatigue and laid down on the bed opposite Hawkeye's.

He reached up to switch off the small light next to him, covering the room in a blanket of darkness. Roy's eyes fell to the spot where he knew Hawkeye's body was lying.

"Riza, please be okay."

His eyes slowly closed, allowing Roy to escape from his confusion in sleep.

* * *

Yes I know. I took forever. I was cursed with writer's block, evil homework giving teachers, and sports practices that left me exhausted. I don't think anyone really liked the last chapter and I was really close to stopping my story. That is why I would really like to thank Mysterious Vampire who gave me an awesome review! I promised an update and here it is! She (I think) really made me keep writing! Well thanks again to all of my reviewers, It really does make me write when I know there are actually people out there who are waiting for what I write. I feel guilty until I write something for them! I hope this chapter is long enough and I promise to try to update sooner next time.

Well I really enjoyed writing this chapter, I feel it was better than the last. I would really appreciate reviews from anyone who reads this! Thank You so much for reading.

Asaka


End file.
